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Therapeutic Destruction

by NateBohnet

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1.
Rise above all their voices|Rise above you perpetual greed|Rise above all of your preconceived notions of what you believe life should be|I cannot deny|I can't always fight| There are times when I feel overwhelmed but I push forward and strive|I believe I can break through every wall that I find| Push forward and strive|Remember you'll survive|This isn’t the end just the start to new life|Push forward and strive|Remember you'll survive|The only thing holding you back is your mind| What is eating at you?|Do you even understand what you want from life?|Where will your own actions lead you?|Do you know of the tests you are bound to find?| The air has grown so thick I can barely breath|A dense fog has overtaken everything I see|With nothing left I take in a deep breath as I search for some light|Dazed and confused from a disorienting presence I push on and fight|I know I'll survive if I| Push forward and strive|Remember you'll survive|This isn’t the end just the start to new life|Push forward and strive|Remember you'll survive|The only thing holding you back is your mind| What is eating at you?|Do you even understand what you want from life?|Where will your own actions lead you?|Do you know of the tests you are bound to find?|
2.
Severed from these moments that pass|Isolated in my mental casket|Trapped scratching collapsing contest as my vacantness|Creates this idle veil moving|Moving forward with an dazed blanket and vacant stare|As I fight this continuum that leaves me dry|Constantly falling away|I can hear the voices of the conversations I should be a part of|Whispers in the wind calling me from the fall As I snap into focus everything seems out of phase|The sensation of falling for now it has come to an end|As I snap into focus everything falls back into place|The sensation of falling has come for me once again| Lost inside my mind again|I've tried to stay but I've slipped through the cracks|Falling through the endless sky|I hear your words as they try to free me from inside|Pull me from this decent| As I snap into focus everything seems out of phase|As I snap into focus everything falls back into place|The sensation of falling for now it has come to an end|The sensation of falling has come for me once again| I cant shake the isolation that pulls me from inside|This folly of mine|Creates this idle veil moving forward with a dazed blanket and vacant stare|
3.
Reflections show a different being in the mirror|Not the shell of man I was before|Chaotic human nature|Forevermore Forevermore Beaten down in a trek of swill and dirt|Bleeding out but I'm still not weak|I scream into the sky|A stable mind is but a pipe dream I claim I do not give a fuck about what's happened to me|I still have the knife in my hand in the same goddamn dream|Holding on, staying strong, but the demons of past, they never leave|Now here I am, stronger than before|But I cannot contain the beast I am the ending to all I have known|You are the cancer that corrodes these bones|We are the poison coursing through it all|Hand in bloody hand|We watch it all fall Reflections show a different being in the mirror|Not the shell of man I was before|Chaotic human nature|Forevermore forevermore I said I do not give a fuck about what's happened to you|I still hold onto the things you said, so sick, so fucking untrue|Holding on, staying strong, but the demons of past, they never leave|Now here I am stronger than before|But I cannot contain the beast Beaten down in a trek of swill and dirt|Bleeding out but I'm still not weak|I scream into the sky|A stable mind is but a pipe dream Lose your fucking mind for this|Nothing remains the same|I lost my fucking mind for this and nothing remained the same
4.
Do you see another one down who tried to make it/ tried so hard to fight for this life he held so sacred/ barely had a thing but still you had to take it/ if the planet had it's own heart then you would break it/ lives wasted can't fight the hatred/ wars just another of mankind's creations/ mothers sisters brothers and other who left to wonder/ why we all must run for cover so damn right we faithless/ so many poverty stricken there ain't no lottery tickets/ so why the power always gotta be wicked/ and you can take your damn religion prophecies with it/ there ain't no way if there's a God that he would wanna see this shit/ when it comes to hands of time/ i won't just stand in line/ I'll put a stick in the gears make a disaster fine/ I'll never pass the prime this life is strictly infinite/ but will the good succeed or will the wickedest win it/ Can you hear the cries of the skies/ do you see the fear in their eyes/ can't you hear them begging for their lives/ don't you see we're running out time So will we ever be free when will we let the deceased rest in peace my two knees are weak now/ This sick insanity fighting over the planet we just sit to watch humanity take another beat down/ I'll see a reason it seems that well never see never be complete with beasts left in heavens reach/ melodies of innocence bring back the memories/ so now I don't see why we can't just let it be Im a sreamin demon left bleeding, feeling like a heathen I'm screaming, trapped in the casket ill breathe again, misguided truth now im watching, as you are walking down this path, can never smell the fear thats behind the mask, unleashed stricken the UN-lit flame, take the forces alive as I've gone insane.... presure Can you hear the cries of the skies/ do you see the fear in their eyes/ can't you hear them begging for their lives/ don't you see we're running out time Its taking over, its taking control. I feel like rolling the dice while leaving others exposed. My Humanity's shaken, my shattered soul has been taken, Im broken hollowed exposed leaving the world forsaken. I feel it crushing and ripping my sinew from limb. Trying to break the will of my mind, and so it begins. The birth of determination, of will and the fire inside. I can no longer deny what I feel inside. God damn this, I cant stand this. These rusted chains once enslaved, now I change this. There is a will to survive, a passion burning to thrive. I will no longer be crippled, I wont give into the hive. My mind and will will shaken, treated and viewed as decrepitude, getting tossed to the side. Being shaken, not bested. Draw your strength from within, put down your foolish pride. Once united, undivided, they will have to step aside Can you hear the cries of the skies/ do you see the fear in their eyes/ can't you hear them begging for their lives/ don't you see we're running out time
5.
Open Your Eyes, Standing at the door is a rabid fiend, this entity absent of soul Clawing at you desperate for the flesh Ripping through their bones Live or die this threat will persist Haunting your every step Run, run and struggle to survive Run, how much longer till you die What happens now? Who will survive Washing their lives away The streets thick with their gore and blood Burned in you memory There's nowhere left to hide It feels like Im being ripped apart from the inside You can try to isolate yourself, but can you be left with your mind Slowly stripping away who you once were, till there’s nothing left to find What happens now? Who will survive Washing their lives away The streets thick with their gore and blood Burned in you memory Run, how much longer till you die Clawing at you desperate for the flesh Ripping through their bones Watch your back, your next misstep could be the Last you make, even a trips a fatal mistake What happens now? Is it even worth it to survive Through such horror and strive All hope has been tested, every second brings anxious sweat The world now dead and restless, burned in your memory Our order cant be restored, now take a look inside Our order cant be restored, there’s nothing left to find No there’s nothing left to find No there’s nothing No there’s left to find
6.
I didn't think this is where I would be Sitting isolated in a broken fabricated dream Defying the norm, defining myself prescribing this cure to help me improve my health Living the way I want to improve myself Pushing past every boundary that brings me hell Defining my worth for myself Refusing to let this sit bring me down I am no longer deranged by what has been done by you. Senseless, so futile, to let it contain Just close your eyes wait and breath for a second As the clouds fall from the sky just hold tight for a second as our dreams turn into flies Tired of fighting the night as if it were myself Grudging through the wastes, of a deaf blind mans sorrow-filled final breath As the knife left his chest Can you hold onto whats in your chest? Weighing you down in this abyss. I couldn't believe, what is in front of me was there no sense of humility? Once left irate, so enraged, so enslaved, un-contained Broken down, hating life until there was nothing left to hate Isolated to myself until I found a way to break I am no longer deranged, by what has been done by you Senseless, so futile, to let it contain Just close your eyes wait and breath for a second As the clouds fall from the sky just hold tight for a second as our dreams turn into flies Oh to be free, of all that has plagued me Mentally soothing, no more of it need be It was senseless and futile to contain So I burnt it up and I washed it all away Just close your eyes wait and breath for a second As the clouds fall from the sky just hold tight for a second as our dreams turn into flies
7.
Oh, we watch it fall way. Just to laugh as we break. Crippled by our motivations, irrational distaste. Yet we all stray away. Falling deep into the portraits that we paint. Falling deeper still, the ink seeps thru my veins. Swaying through this vacant portrait, I can only faintly recall what drove me hear. Surrounded by the world around I cannot remember where I'm needed. These passages are painted with filth and grim. My worst horrors are realized. Rip me to shreds, the foolish all die. My humanity means nothing, all hope has been lost. I've given up everything and yet torture is my cost. Ripped apart, burned alive, thrown from the edge. Constantly falling, I'll have my revenge! Fight, your left with nothing. Its break or be broken here. Try to survive, the battles are ruthless. It takes the patience of gods to persevere. How will you live, and how will you die? It doesn't matter, your left to fry . The walls are crumbling and the walls are shaking. But your humanity is still mine for the taking. Oh, and falling deeper still. The ink seeps thru my veins. Swaying thru this vacant portrait, in which we fall away. Yet we all stray away. Falling deep into the portraits that we paint. I cant recall what drove me here. Surrounded by the world around. Project your manifestations. Look deep into the eyes of what you fear inside. Don't lose yourself in this hell. Burnt flesh is easily the worst smell. But whats left for me here? I's stuck in this inked out black world, with nothing but fear. My foot-steps are heavy, but my minds breaking free. Start grasping at strings for some sanity. How will I live? and how will I die? It doesn't matter, I'm left to fry. The ground has collapsed and taken me down with it. I'm constantly falling, will it come to an end? Oh, and falling deeper still. The ink seeps thru my veins. Swaying thru this vacant portrait, in which we fall away. Yet we all stray away. Falling deep into the portraits that we paint. In this putrid hallway, everything's left to decay. Everything's left to decay! We watch it fall away, just to laugh as we break. Crippled by our motivation, irrational distaste. Starring at this portrait I watch it all fade away. As I begin to fade away. I cannot remember, where I'm needed. These passages are painted for filth and grim. My worst horrors are realized. Rip me to shred! The foolish all die.
8.
Traitors, fucking traitors all the same. Whether its wretched pride, or personal gain. Traitors, fucking traitors all the same. Jaded Ideals with jaded personalities. Pointless hate shatters the mind. Fatigue corrodes reality, our lives are dried. Fallen like the skies, fallen tears of false gods and lies. Cut my teeth on immorality Sold my soul for immortality Force fed your life And it's rotting out your insides Blood, the blood in their veins isn't enough for me. Enough for me. Time, I'd rather let time play out and drain the hate from me. The Hate from me. Ive been through hell, Ive danced with the snake. Ive lived off the smog of a foolish mistake. Embers overtake all shattered remains. I cannot blame the fire. I'd rather target the spark that drew the flame. Cut my teeth on immorality Sold my soul for immortality Force fed your life And it's rotting out your insides Blood, the blood in their veins isn't enough for me. Enough for me. Time, I'd rather let time play out and drain the hate from me. The Hate from me.
9.
This is the murder of the twenty-first century. The mindset that I have and its always gonna be, the bleeding of the innocent cries of the weak. Your left to defeat. I'm left alone in here wandering aimlessly. Surrounded by the bodies fallen before me. Fragile, collapsed, left to rot, exposed. Every breath taken in takes of blood and smoke. I am death, now fear my fucking name. Just stay away from all this emotion and pain Die, don’t even try to hide. Your life feeds me tonight. Let your fear take flight. Who are you today? Your left feeling innocent by the one, cause your left feeling down. This crime that you commit will never take you down and justify your life. That you will find, in this murder suicide. You life your life to bleed on enemies. And while I wander I could let the blood drench me in a suicidal madness, laying, waiting to consume me. My mind racing in spastic ways. Darkened illusions try to take over, control me. Murder, murder, suicide. That’s how I live my life Murder, murder, suicide. That’s how I live my life Die, don’t even try to hide. Your life feeds me tonight. Let your fear take flight. Who are you today? Who are you today?
10.
So much anger, hate, and pain|I can feel it in my veins. Instead of fucking killing you|I scribble on the page. Cuz if I ever told a therapist|they would say that I'm insane. They would pop me full of pills|and they would lock me in a cage. So instead I write these raps|I'm filling up the page. Knowing in my soul that I will never be the same. |I'm murdering my demons here to put them in the grave. I got them on the run|they see the iron on the blade. My hands are painted red|I've been talking with the dead. Heart is frozen cold|There's not a beat inside my chest. You will never see my death|cuz when I get laid to rest I will live on through my pen|stuck inside the minds of men. This is not a joke I suggest you let me be or catch this blade inside your throat. I would love to watch you bleed|you'll feel poke after poke watch you drop down to your knees. I hope you're hearing what I said|you need to let me be This is the only way, I can release at all This is the only way, my mind finds ease at all A way to fight it all, a way to fight it all I've been fighting all this rage and now I'm gaining my control I've clawed my way from hell, this battle is my own I've fought until my flesh was peeling off my bones You feel every single word so I know I'm not alone. I built this man you see. Every bit of me. This is my obsession. This is driving me. So you need to let me be cuz this is therapy! THIS IS THERAPY!! So I'm stepping in the pit, im ready with my fists. I'll face the wall of death, this anger is a gift. This is everything I've got. I'm giving all that I can give. Cuz this is therapy and this is where I live! Music is my life I hope to pass it to my kid cuz to leave it bottled up it's not the way to live. The releasing of this anger is the best of medicine so join us in the chaos and destroy the fucking pit!! This is the only way, I can release at all This is the only way, my mind finds ease at all A way to fight it all, a way to fight it all Living in this world makes my soul feel unforgiven|For any Slight action I take or some words that need revision|Yet in moments time elapses and the melody takes a grasp|I feel the pulse of the flow as I succumb and let the groove take control|In my form of expression I am free to whip away any of this negative energy that is bottled inside of me| Letting the moments fade away into the past| Another fleeting memory that time has washed away left elapsed|I cant let myself stay isolated overtaken by my demons mentally broken and depleted|Idly wondering if the future really matters or if in the end my life has any meaning| But instead I take a seat let the melody take control| Let these words bleed to this paper from this rhythm groove and flow| In this moment all that really matters is letting you know|This is the way I fight the way I release it all This is the only way, I can release at all This is the only way, my mind finds ease at all A way to fight it all, a way to fight it all
11.
You move along, barely breaking stride. Your losing touch with your better side. So here I am, I will, its within reach. Here you found that home, I know what Im fighting for. Reach out for me please. I want you here. Don't give up, dont ever leave. You Choose the song because it helps define. Through all those wasted years. you know you lose so much every time you hide. So now you disappear. To become a dick conflicted by an addiction. You reached the aftermath and wreckage that you call your god damn life. How can you find that home, crawling over the wasted years? Well you know you know your just causing the conflict. They way you know it goes to show because your letting them waste your life. How can you find that home, crawling over the wasted years? Your fighting the faceless. Your running, complacent. Somehow you'll find that home, just dont waste those tears. Your fine and lets face it, your fighting, complacent. You know you found that voice, through all those wasted years. I found a away to display an aggressive connection, by the way to convey the direction I take and why. How can you find that home, always fighting the problem? Hard to say what I mean with the thought of progression. I regress to my dismay, disinfected and seditious I lie. How can you find that voice, always the problem here? The biting, the teething, the life that your stealing. You know just what your fighting for. The hiding, the pacing. With lives here, are you wasting. Because when silence falls, behind those vacant eyes. You knew it all along, but you dont even try. You used to care so much, now I cant even cry. Move along. Move along.
12.
Why is it, that all I see, is a broken mentality, that has crippled everything. No, I wont stand for this. The very thought of it makes me sick. Crushed fatigued, scratching at the walls. Will anyone hear my call? Rage has consumed so many lives. Its one of the few things that I despise. The weight of its waves crash over me. Yet I fight for my integrity. Why, why do I even try? Why, what will it take for this to die? Everyday, the walls seem to close in. Suffocating life, draining me. Everyday, the walls seems to close in. Crushing my soul, testing me. Why, why would you do such a thing. I cannot fathom your mentality. Created distress at your curtain cal;l. If they knew would they care at all? This conjuring of pathetic lies. Yet another thing that I despise. And as I write down this next line, pass thru my memory as you pass through live. Why, why do I even try? Why, what will it take for this to die? Everyday, the walls seem to close in. Suffocating life, draining me. Everyday, the walls seems to close in. Crushing my soul, testing me. As stressful times take over life. We cant allow a clouded mind, to dictate our thoughts, to dictate our lives. We must see thru hates clever disguise. Why, why do I even try? I cant. I wont. I wont let this overtake me I wont let this consume me
13.
Someone tell me how, to kill these fiends in my mind I've been trying my hardest, but they seem to bide their time They creep around the corners of my mind Hiding away, biding time Is it just my feeble mind, or is this horror truly mine? I can feel it ripping, taring me from inside I can hear them every night, sheltered in my mind I scream and shout, but my breath gives out They just wont shut up, so I lock then up At least for tonight, at least for tonight I’ve tried to fight them, but they know every weakness of mine They bide their time Hide away, out of sight waiting to strike and Knock me down again, again and again Is it just my feeble mind, or is this horror truly mine? I can feel it ripping, taring me from inside I can hear them every night, sheltered in my mind I scream and shout, but my breath gives out They just wont shut up, so I lock then up At least for tonight, at least for tonight I find some peace, at least for tonight My minds at ease, steady, sublime At least for tonight, tonight I can hear them every night, sheltered in my mind I scream and shout, but my breath gives out They just wont shut up, so I lock then up At least for tonight, at least for tonight Someone tell me how, to kill these fiends in my mind Those few moments of peace are all that I want to find They creep around the corners, but they cant stay here tonight So I hide away, biding time
14.
Your life is only equal to what you give|Regardless of the darkness in the wakes of the mist|Can you breathe in the air where you stand?|Or does every breath fill your lungs with sand?|Surrounded by voices and creatures disturbed|There is no exit sign|You are trapped in your mind| Take control of your mind as you try to close your eyes blindly|Refusing to look down at what has been haunting you at night|In the confines of your mind|Screaming through the walls|”Just let me take control for tonight”|”Let me burn a wicked path”|”Let me destroy you”|”Let me laugh as I reduce your dreams to ash”| I am not a number| Nor a weight to tip the scale|Pushing through debris|Caving from within|I wont be enslaved|By my mind or let it fade away|Pushing through debris|Caving from within|I am not a number| Nor a weight to tip the scale|I am not a slave|Waiting to fade away| “On your Knees Filth”|Why cant I see past this hell?|Crawl away from this decay inside this shell| Mold the very essence of what you are|Strapping chains across your throat| Here I lay covered in stone| Standing above your grave|Watching you decay|A rancid smell is in the air|Breath it in your despair| I wont be enslaved|By my mind or let it fade away|Pushing through debris|Caving from within|I am not a number| Nor a weight to tip the scale|I am not a slave|Waiting to fade away| On your knees filth|Why cant I see past this hell?|Crawl away from this decay|Inside this shell|Here I lay covered in stone

about

This album is centered around the concept that music is therapy. We all go through times in our lives where nothing seems to make sense, everything is on the edge, and you dont know what will happen next. We have all loved, laughed, lost , and experienced tremendous grief and joy in our time alive.

With that this album is'nt centered around a certain sound, but rather centered around that concept. This is therapy, and if one song reaches you and connects with you, then it has done its job

credits

released February 16, 2018

Recorded at Octave Studios Med Hat by: Nate Bohnet

All instruments recorded by: Nate Bohnet

Edited, Mixed, Mastered, and Produced by: Nate Bohnet

Artwork and Logos by: Matt Semenok

Artwork and Logos Coloured By: Nate Bohnet

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NateBohnet Medicine Hat, Alberta

I am a Musician and Audio Engineer from Medicine Hat, Alberta. I am the Vocalist for Deadlights. I provide recording, mixing, and mastering services through Octave Studios Med Hat. If you want to work together send me a email at natebohnet@octavestudiosmh.com You can also find my website and portfolio at octavestudiosmh.com ... more

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